It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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