she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
How's work?
Spinning.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
