butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I enjoy the company of your penis
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
