The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
