I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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