She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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