just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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