He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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