There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
