he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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