i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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