Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
there was a trapeze. enough said
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Randomize
