You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
