I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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