There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
