god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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