even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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