You really coming over, don't trick.
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Randomize
