North Korea, Best Korea!
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
