it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize