im about as happy as oj after his trial
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
