god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
