No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
