i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
