do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
