All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
