I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
