dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
