this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
