she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
