i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
