Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
