Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
