Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
