What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I checked into jail on foursquare
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
