How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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