I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
