Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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