i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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