So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
