Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
