omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
What a dumb baby whore.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
