woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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