Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
