i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
