let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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