Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
