Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You are a genius and a whore.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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