I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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