The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
