I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
