You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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