is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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