Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize
